Speak For Me

     For all the hooker jokes I've made in my days, some how (and I don't know how) the word 'ho' has never made it into my vocabulary. A sex positive friend posted this link on her Facebook and I read 'ho' as in disparaging to women. I was curious, so I clicked. It turned out to be the best thing I've found on the internet in a long time.

     This video is clips of sex trade workers speaking to their partner. They're expressing their wishes, their appreciation and their regrets. It says so many things I wish I was able to find the words for. It also delivers a message that the world at large needs to hear. 

Every Ho I Know Says So

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTdBXLCo1Qk

     I uploaded the actual clip from my computer incase the link breaks.

These are my personal thoughts about the comments in the video:

0:11 I hate it when people call my jobs ‘dates’. A date is when a person I like asks to spend time with me because they want to know me better. Primary requirement: Must know my name. MY real name! With respect to work, I go on ‘calls’. Different for everyone though. However, I really do like the message she delivers there. I try to keep the experiences as unique as possible. And part of me is questioning that. Will follow up with that thought later.

1:20. Yes, thank you!

1:26 So many people don’t understand what is none of their business to share. I have been accused of being ashamed of what I do, and therefore, why do I do it, if I’m not willing to tell the world? Regardless of my own personal feelings around my job, I do not feel the need to subject myself to other peoples judgements or questions; as harmless as they may be intended.

2:54 Yes! For those who have been supportive of me being on call, thank you to the end of time. My tolerance level for guilt and manipulations that I have encountered for being employed in an on-call industry has gone down to zero.

4:20 I think this one spoke the loudest to me. Demonizing my clients. I have never been made to do so, but I feel as though I ought to. I’ve said so many times that I don’t get the same sexual gratification from clients as I do personal partners, but that isn’t always true. I think I’ve had a hard time admitting that. I feel as though I need to separate myself from these experiences. The truth is, sometimes they’re damn good. And some times they’re simply enjoyable. This woman has helped me re-claim the pleasure I have in my job. GOOD FOR HER! These woman really understand how sex isn’t just sex. The sex I have with you is different than the sex I have with clients, because you’re different people, not because they’re paying for it and you're not.

6:18 I thought about how much previous jobs made me cry vs this job, I’d say the same.

                

6:35 I really wish my mom could see this. She doesn’t know about my job, but she really really needs to educate herself on simply what it is to be sex positive.

7:20 AMEN SISTA! I’ve been questioned a lot about this, but no one has ever been forced the idea. (I think that’s cause I surround myself with awesome people)

8:15 I don’t think that this is an issue with my current partner (As far as I know) but I think it is such a valid point. To be supportive of the one you love is important, but not to the detriment of your own well being. If there are issues, talk about them. COMMUNICATE!

8:45 this one hit me the hardest. I got so choked. I don’t even know grateful I am that the love my partner gives me doesn’t come with an “… even though” or an “it’s ok” or “I forgive what you’ve done” He loves the part of me that is the sex worker. He loves that it is my chosen profession. He doesn’t have to ‘get over it’ or ‘look past it.’ or 'forgive it'. He sees it as a part of me that makes me better. I didn’t think that existed, much less be a trait in someone I would find… who loves me!!! Gawd I’m a lucky girl.

    These people are all intelligent and articulate people. They are all different colours, ages, weights, genders. I'm sure their socioeconomic and cultural back ground is just as varied. When I tell people what that I'm an escort, the biggest judgement that I feel (internally) is that I'm not a barbie doll. I'm not one of those 110 lbs girls that you see in lines at night clubs. I don't wear super short skirts and I can't walk in heels higher than two and a half inches. I have nicks and bruises on my legs from an active life style, I'm not always perfectly shaved, and there are things I won't let you do because I'm a human being who has nerve endings which I will not sacrifice (no, you cannot pound me for 45 minutes straight with out a lube and water break.) I am one of these women!