Little

     I was at the Ramada Motel yesterday afternoon. As I left walked passed a room that had it’s door wide open, and got eyeball-fucked by these two Russians. I was wearing sunglasses, but I gave them a look back just for kicks.

     Today I got called to the Ramada Motel. Room 108. I should give eyes to random dudes at hotels more often. His name is Ivan, and he’s little. Not cock size; person size. Little.

I’m a jerk. It’s ok.

     He weirded me out when we talked on the phone. He had nothing to say. Everything was, “Yuh” Not Yeah, not Yes, sure, ok… just ‘yuh’ I almost passed on the call, but I’m broke as fuck. This was one instance where I did not follow my gut. I’d already passed on a call earlier today, and I didn’t know the girl who was working the phones. Don’t want to piss those ladies off without cause. So I take it. In our little phone interview I asked if the woman on the phone had told him about he rates.

    “Yuh.”

     “$$$/hour.”

     “Yuh”

    “Alright, I’ll see you soon.”

     I get there, and the money is on the desk. Clearly not enough.

    “Ok, there’s only two thirds here…” I say, trailing off, making the redundant statement of the day.

    “The girl on the phone said you charge the half hour rate.”

    “No, I don’t. We talked about this on the phone, remember.” I say this to ensure I’m carrying them along with me in the conversation; So there’s nothing that they’re able to deny.

     “When we talked on the phone, I asked you if the girl on the phone asked you about the rate, and you said yes. Then I confirmed the rate, and you said yes.”

     “Yeah, but the woman on the phone said the half hour rate…” He had no confidence to back him up.

     “We talked about this specifically. I confirmed with you. You said yes. It’s $$$ per hour. You agreed to it.”
     “Yeah, but she said…”
     “She has nothing to do with this. She is not here right now, is she? This is between you and me. That’s why we discussed it on the phone.” He didn’t stand a chance.

     “I’d have to go to an ATM.”

     “That’s ok, I can wait here.” I said.

     Perfect, clock started as soon as I checked in with the agency. He’d be gone on his time. We discussed his options and off he went.

     Channel changer didn’t work of course, so I surfed via buttons until I found something that wasn’t a commercial. Kung-fu movie. Classic.

     Ten minutes goes by.

    Twenty minutes go by.

     THIRTY minutes go by. I start thinking of my game plan. If I really wanted to be a dick, I could just take the money and go… I couldn’t do it though. Besides, Bruce Lee, he ain’t bad to watch.

     He finally returns, all little and sweatly like.

     “Did you walk???” I exclaim, "I could have given you a ride!" Totally wouldn't have, but may as well pave the road to recovery.

     “Yeah, it’s hot outside!” It’s clear that he’s been sweating… and running…

     He hands me the extra money and says, “So now I have you for the full hour!”

     I didn’t have the heart to tell him the clock had been going the whole time. He was so happy, so enthusiastic, so I said yes. In the end, I was out of there in 45. Win for everyone.