Needs

     I’ve been starving for snuggles lately. My job is to give. Give my body, give my attention, give my energy, and although there is sexual pleasure gained there,  there is no intimacy. I have not been receiving what I need.

     I went on a few unsuccessful dates in February, and have been looking around for a potential snuggle (and then some) buddy, but couldn’t find anyone that I had enough faith in to take the leap. Then earlier this week, I had a friend over for dinner. We go back three years, him and I, and nothing has ever come close to happening. He’s attractive, I’ve always thought so, but when we met, he was my friends husband and since then both the friendship and the marriage have ended, but our relationship remained the same.

     I’d invited him over for dinner last week, and I admit the idea of hooking up with him entered my mind. I trust him. He’s kind, he’s handsome, respectful, fit, and sincere. We’ve always gotten along really well together. Our plan was dinner and a movie. Since we share a love for 90’s action films, we had Broken Arrow lined up. While we ate he mentioned that he had been snuggling with a girl, and I see that as my opportunity.

     “Did you want to snuggle tonight?” I ask.

     “Sure, if you’re comfortable with that, I don’t mind.”

     Needless to say, one thing lead to another. Things went well. We saw each other again on Sunday and I slept over. I feel like we just took care of each other, while at the same time, I feel like he didn’t try to take anything from me. I don’t know how to make that make sense, but while he was anything but passive, he really just let me fill my needs. I hope I did the same for him. It was amazing. It’s been on my mind since and it’s been hard for me not to pester him with texts all day.

     “If I had mind blowing sex for three hours, plus countless orgasms, I’d have a hard time not texting all the time too,” Joon says to me. She’s good at putting things in perspective.

     Tonight I saw my first client since we were together and I hated it. Although the guy was only slightly weirder than normal, it felt like everywhere he put his mouth erased the spot that Logan had claimed the night before.