In Bed With Crazy

            The phone was ringing when I arrived at his door. It was his home line and he let it go to voicemail. It was actually one of those old school recordings where you get to hear the message as it’s being left. I thought those only existed on TV. I collected my fee and called into the agency. As Tina answers the phone a loud screeching noise goes off to the left of me. It’s his ring tone. It screams “Danger, danger, danger!” and I see the face of a woman on the display. Without acknowledging me he takes the call outside but returns quickly.

            He has booked me for half an hour, which irritates the shit out of me because I have to do equal work for half pay, so out of spite I give him 20 minutes. We go upstairs and get to work. The phone continues to ring. Incessantly. It alternates between his cell and his home phone and it doesn’t stop for the duration that I’m there.

            It’s a shitty call. He can’t get hard, and he keeps pushing for more than what he’s paid for. When my time is up I go to the washroom and I notice a hole in the wall. Well really, it’s more a dint than a whole and it’s slightly above eye level. It wasn’t caused by a fist; that’d be bigger, lower and tends to go through drywall. I turn my back to the wall, stand on my toes and lean back. The crown of my head fits perfectly in the dint. Time to go. I walk out, and quickly start getting dressed. He tries to convince me to stay, but I’m not having it. In the short amount of time it takes to get out the door his pleading has turned to yelling.

            By the time I’m in the car, I have Tina on the phone and she has crazy dude in the black book.